by Aimée Tian
Disclaimer: if you get offended, please don’t. It probably just means that you’ve made it.
1. First things first. Do a lot of background research. Know your brands. After all, streetwear fashion has become the mainstream nowadays, anyways. Better to keep up.
3. Maintain an online image on all social media platforms. One must be present in order to stay woke.
4. Find a large group of friends who will set alarms for online drops and camp out with you on sidewalks in negative-degree weather. You will also benefit from gaining loyal followers and social media supporters.
5. Start conversations by bringing up all the most recent sneaker drops and pop-up shop events that you’ve attended at your local hubs and watering holes. Don’t bother showing up if you aren’t dressed to the nines…or dressed to the *hundred emoji*.
6. Make sure to name drop. A lot.
7. Create a Twitter account where you criticize other people for not being as street-savvy as you are. Only Type Like This.
8. Let everyone be aware of the fact that you are #DoingItForTheYouth. You are a cultural influencer, goddamnit.
9. Purchase a Thrasher flames shirt. Pretend to know a lot about skateboarding.
10. Be sure to acquire a collection of key sneakers. #GOALS.
11. Purchase a lot of Supreme. Be there at every drop. Buy a Supreme brick. Why not? Let the people know how determined you are.
13. Exploit brands that have been around for a long time like Stüssy and Anti Social Social Club. Pretend to ‘rediscover’ them, and be sure to educate everyone who isn’t as enlightened as you are with your newfound knowledge.
14. Don’t forget to flex your threads on Instagram. Tag every fashion account you can think of.
15. Talk a lot about ‘collabs’. Even if you have no artistic vision. Find ‘like-minded individuals’ and hit them in the DMs.
16. Go around the city and find some broken down urban sites. Take a lot of pictures. Post them. (Link in bio!!! DM to shoot.)
17. Next, it’s time for you to create. Make a page on an online distribution platform. Probably pick bigcartel. It’s like the Etsy of streetwear or something.
18. Come up with a ~new and unique~ brand name. Basically open up the dictionary and choose either a single word or a phrase that encapsulates your aura. Preferably something moody and/or obscure. If you are feeling extra-extra, remove the vowels or replace with the letters ‘X’, ‘V’ or ‘Ø’.
19. Take a dad cap and print/stitch something on it. Get some plain white T-shirts and print something on it. A graphic. Do the same in black. Also stamp out some bizarre phrase on all of your stock. It adds to the overall image of the Tortured Youth™.
20. Get the general public stoked for your launch. Promote on all platforms, even if you aren’t sure yourself what you are promoting exactly.
21. Make sure everyone knows that your stock is !! LIMITED QUANTITY !! Mark as sold out even though you still have full boxes of leftovers sitting inside your garage. Gotta maintain that image of exclusivity.
22. I cannot stress this one enough: tell everyone you are making moves. (You have moved…from your parents’ basement to a tiny walk-up with more roommates than rooms.)
Afterword: These are just some musings. I do not claim to know everything, nor am I denying my own participation in this millennial culture. I hope you got a bit of a laugh out of this.